Saturday, October 30, 2010

watching a birth changed my outlook and my mind

Wow what a busy week! And its funny how I have come full circle in just a few days. On Thursday, I was hanging out with one of my bffs who was basically in labour. We were having a long chat about my stuff (in between her contractions), and I was saying that I am coming more and more to terms with the fact that I may only have one child....and that I am actually starting to feel ok with that. I know its weird. Maybe I am just exhausted. One thing I did not see happening on this journey....was the 'desire' subsiding. Its not that I am giving up; no, I am just really starting to appreciate and really believe that whatever is meant to be, will be.  I dont think most people are tested to see if its really what they believe and feel amazed at myself that I can actually truly, with the deepest seed of my heart, believe it.

We had a fun afternoon of walking her around and pausing for each contraction. I thought at one point 'do I really want to go through this again anyway?!' I stopped to get her a glass of sangria (I know I am not the best labour buddy, but she seems to think I am!) - dont worry, she only drank a few sips but it relaxed her.

That night I got the call at 1am to come to the hospital. With one hour of sleep under my belt, I scrambled to put on clothes, grabbed my purse and keys (I had my camera and stuff already in the car, as I knew it was going to be a middle-of-the-night excursion), and drove down to the hospital. Soon after I arrived she got her epidural and I made her go to sleep. I spent some time with her hubby and then made him take a nap. I decided to cozy up on a chair, and grabbed a blanket off the floor. Yeah, one thing to know, if something is on the floor in a delivery room, its probably becuase its been used for something! I pulled it up to me and said 'why is this wet?'....she burst out 'oh my god, that must have been on the bed when she broke my water!'....that blanket went flying across the room and sent me flying into the bathroom to wash my hands. YUCK! we were laughing hysterically. We calmed down and tried to sleep, and then soon it was time to push. I promised her I would stay 'north of the border' as she says and would only take non-offensive pictures. Well that changed once the baby's head began to emerge and I followed the process behind the lense. Two things I have to say....I have such admiration to my friend and any woman who has pushed out a baby (myself included), that is hard work! it was amazing! and also, I have changed my mind, I want another one! I want to go through that and give my husband the joy of cutting the cord and feeling the shear relief that the boulder between your hips is now out and crying and being suctioned and put on my breast. Yes, it changed me, it changed my mind.

“To witness the birth of a child is our best opportunity to experience the meaning of the word miracle.” - Paul Carvel

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