Wednesday, September 15, 2010

sex before the 2 ww

I have gone back to basics. yup, after about 72 2WWs (two week wait) of which 4 were from IUI and 4 were from IVF, I am just trying (again) to do this naturally. I didnt pee on a stick to make sure I had ovulated, I didnt check my temp, I am not taking some sort of medication (well yes, I guess you could say I am ...more on that later), but we are going back to the good old fashioned way that normal people do it - HAVING SEX!  So now here I am...after days of 'procreation sex' (yes there is a difference), its now the beginning of the two week wait. 14 days when you react to every twinge in your body, wonder if its possible, stress over why its not, and a million other stupid thoughts that we really have no control over.

The reason that I am feeling energized about this 2ww is that my last cycle was 30 days. So? you ask. Well, before I had my son (who is now 8) I had two 30 day cycles. Lets take a step back....I came off the pill to get pregnant in August 2001. Hubby and I had just been married and on a glorious 2 week (ha there it is again!) honeymoon to Italy. So we thought 'lets have a baby.'  I actually thought to myself that it wouldnt happen right away (not so naive i guess), as we had friends who had taken months to get pregnant. I was also taking medication for MS (I have multiple sclerosis) that was determind 'not good' to take while pregnant. So after coming off the pill I had a 30 day cycle. Then in the next cycle I came off my 'not good' meds and was tracking my temperature for basal body temp. Wow, that seems to so simple and pre-historic now!  Then sure enough...I ovulated on day 16 (which would have meant a 30 day cycle) and BAM...preggers. Holy cow, we couldnt believe our luck. I must be fertile mertile hahahah!

So after having our son in May 2002 we made a decision not to try (literally went back on birth control pills as i was back on my 'not good' meds). My hubby was in school and I was self employed with an infant. So we agreed that when he was finished and our child was 2 we would try again. So May 2004 came and I came off all meds. My cycles went from the 28 days the pills had determined down to 24. huh?

Over the past 6 years of trying, my cycle has extended from 24 to 25 days and maybe only once got to 26. So needless to say I was shocked when last month Aunt Flo waited 30 days before coming for another visit. Could it be that my body was readjusting after all this time? Although in all honesty I was more shocked that I wasnt pregnant. Not sure why?!

So here I am. Its hopefully my 2nd 30 day- and lucky cycle!

Back to sex. I think we can all agree that procreation sex is just not the same as regular sex. Of course if you want to have a family then, yes, you are having procreation sex...and I guess that could still be fun. I guess I should say Infertile Sex...that isnt fun. You almost put more into it, thinking that 'this will be the one' but knowing deep down that the time you have put in before, no matter how creative or how long you lay there with your hips up in the just aint gonna happen.  Its sad, as a relationship that was full of passion and untimed sex, can become so monotonous when you know that both of you (well the woman atleast) is thinking about nothing other than how quickly those spermies can swim up, and is an egg already waiting. Will they like each other? Will the sperm know what to do? Will a stupid sperm get there before a smart handsome one?...oh sorry honey, but I am sure they are not all created equal. There are so many things to think about when you have this much time to do so. I dont even know if some IFs really care about sex after a while. We have tried the 'get drunk and do it' but that doesnt seem to work either. And, if I hear one more person say "well just get drunk, thats what we did and look at us" (with their bus load of kids), I am going to smack someone! There must be a way to go back to basics and not think about 'that' while you are doing 'it.'

saw this proverb and laughed...maybe we are going to bed too late!

"It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins."  ~Chinese Proverb

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